Enter Petruchio and his man Grumio.
PETRUCHIO.
Verona, for a while I take my leave
To see my friends in Padua; but of all
My best beloved and approved friend
Hortensio; and I trow this is his house.
Here, sirrah Grumio, knock, I say.
GRUMIO.
Knock, sir? Whom should I knock? Is there any man has rebused your worship
PETRUCHIO.
Villain, I say, knock me here soundly.
GRUMIO.
Knock you here, sir? Why, sir, what am I, sir, that I should knock you here, sir
PETRUCHIO.
Villain, I say, knock me at this gate
And rap me well, or I’ll knock your knave’s pate.
GRUMIO.
My master is grown quarrelsome. I should knock you first
And then I know after who comes by the worst.
PETRUCHIO.
Will it not be
Faith, sirrah, and you’ll not knock, I’ll ring it
I’ll try how you can sol, fa, and sing it.
He wrings Grumio by the ears.
GRUMIO.
Help, masters, help! my master is mad.
PETRUCHIO.
Now, knock when I bid you, sirrah villain
Enter Hortensio.
HORTENSIO.
How now! what’s the matter? My old friend Grumio! and my good friend Petruchio! How do you all at Verona
PETRUCHIO.
Signior Hortensio, come you to part the fray
Con tutto il cuore ben trovato, may I say.
HORTENSIO.
Alla nostra casa ben venuto; molto honorato signor mio Petruchio.
Rise, Grumio, rise: we will compound this quarrel.
GRUMIO.
Nay, ’tis no matter, sir, what he ’leges in Latin. If this be not a lawful cause for me to leave his service, look you, sir, he bid me knock him and rap him soundly, sir: well, was it fit for a servant to use his master so; being, perhaps, for aught I see, two-and-thirty, a pip out? Whom would to God I had well knock’d at first, then had not Grumio come by the worst.
PETRUCHIO.
A senseless villain! Good Hortensio
I bade the rascal knock upon your gate
And could not get him for my heart to do it.
GRUMIO.
Knock at the gate! O heavens! Spake you not these words plain: ‘Sirrah knock me here, rap me here, knock me well, and knock me soundly’? And come you now with ‘knocking at the gate
PETRUCHIO.
Sirrah, be gone, or talk not, I advise you.
HORTENSIO.
Petruchio, patience; I am Grumio’s pledge
Why, this’s a heavy chance ’twixt him and you
Your ancient, trusty, pleasant servant Grumio.
And tell me now, sweet friend, what happy gale
Blows you to Padua here from old Verona
PETRUCHIO.
Such wind as scatters young men through the world
To seek their fortunes farther than at home
Where small experience grows. But in a few
Signior Hortensio, thus it stands with me
Antonio, my father, is deceas’d
And I have thrust myself into this maze
Haply to wive and thrive as best I may
Crowns in my purse I have, and goods at home
And so am come abroad to see the world.
HORTENSIO.
Petruchio, shall I then come roundly to thee
And wish thee to a shrewd ill-favour’d wife
Thou’dst thank me but a little for my counsel
And yet I’ll promise thee she shall be rich
And very rich: but th’art too much my friend
And I’ll not wish thee to her.
PETRUCHIO.
Signior Hortensio, ’twixt such friends as we
Few words suffice; and therefore, if thou know
One rich enough to be Petruchio’s wife
As wealth is burden of my wooing dance
Be she as foul as was Florentius’ love
As old as Sibyl, and as curst and shrewd
As Socrates’ Xanthippe or a worse
She moves me not, or not removes, at least
Affection’s edge in me, were she as rough
As are the swelling Adriatic seas
I come to wive it wealthily in Padua
If wealthily, then happily in Padua.
GRUMIO.
Nay, look you, sir, he tells you flatly what his mind is: why, give him gold enough and marry him to a puppet or an aglet-baby; or an old trot with ne’er a tooth in her head, though she have as many diseases as two-and-fifty horses: why, nothing comes amiss, so money comes withal.
HORTENSIO.
Petruchio, since we are stepp’d thus far in
I will continue that I broach’d in jest.
I can, Petruchio, help thee to a wife
With wealth enough, and young and beauteous
Brought up as best becomes a gentlewoman
Her only fault,—and that is faults enough
Is, that she is intolerable curst
And shrewd and froward, so beyond all measure
That, were my state far worser than it is
I would not wed her for a mine of gold.
PETRUCHIO.
Hortensio, peace! thou know’st not gold’s effect
Tell me her father’s name, and ’tis enough
For I will board her, though she chide as loud
As thunder when the clouds in autumn crack.
HORTENSIO.
Her father is Baptista Minola
An affable and courteous gentleman
Her name is Katherina Minola
Renown’d in Padua for her scolding tongue.
PETRUCHIO.
I know her father, though I know not her
And he knew my deceased father well.
I will not sleep, Hortensio, till I see her
And therefore let me be thus bold with you
To give you over at this first encounter
Unless you will accompany me thither.
GRUMIO.
I pray you, sir, let him go while the humour lasts. O’ my word, and she knew him as well as I do, she would think scolding would do little good upon him. She may perhaps call him half a score knaves or so; why, that’s nothing; and he begin once, he’ll rail in his rope-tricks. I’ll tell you what, sir, and she stand him but a little, he will throw a figure in her face, and so disfigure her with it that she shall have no more eyes to see withal than a cat. You know him not, sir.
HORTENSIO.
Tarry, Petruchio, I must go with thee
For in Baptista’s keep my treasure is
He hath the jewel of my life in hold
His youngest daughter, beautiful Bianca
And her withholds from me and other more
Suitors to her and rivals in my love
Supposing it a thing impossible
For those defects I have before rehears’d
That ever Katherina will be woo’d
Therefore this order hath Baptista ta’en
That none shall have access unto Bianca
Till Katherine the curst have got a husband.
GRUMIO.
Katherine the curst
A title for a maid of all titles the worst.
HORTENSIO.
Now shall my friend Petruchio do me grace
And offer me disguis’d in sober robes
To old Baptista as a schoolmaster
Well seen in music, to instruct Bianca
That so I may, by this device at least
Have leave and leisure to make love to her
And unsuspected court her by herself.
GRUMIO.
Here’s no knavery! See, to beguile the old folks, how the young folks lay their heads together
Enter Gremio and Lucentio disguised, with books under his arm.
Master, master, look about you: who goes there, ha
HORTENSIO.
Peace, Grumio! It is the rival of my love. Petruchio, stand by awhile.
GRUMIO.
A proper stripling, and an amorous
GREMIO.
O! very well; I have perus’d the note.
Hark you, sir; I’ll have them very fairly bound
All books of love, see that at any hand
And see you read no other lectures to her.
You understand me. Over and beside
Signior Baptista’s liberality
I’ll mend it with a largess. Take your papers too
And let me have them very well perfum’d
For she is sweeter than perfume itself
To whom they go to. What will you read to her
LUCENTIO.
Whate’er I read to her, I’ll plead for you
As for my patron, stand you so assur’d
As firmly as yourself were still in place
Yea, and perhaps with more successful words
Than you, unless you were a scholar, sir.
GREMIO.
O! this learning, what a thing it is.
GRUMIO.
O! this woodcock, what an ass it is.
PETRUCHIO.
Peace, sirrah
HORTENSIO.
Grumio, mum! God save you, Signior Gremio
GREMIO.
And you are well met, Signior Hortensio.
Trow you whither I am going? To Baptista Minola.
I promis’d to enquire carefully
About a schoolmaster for the fair Bianca
And by good fortune I have lighted well
On this young man; for learning and behaviour
Fit for her turn, well read in poetry
And other books, good ones, I warrant ye.
HORTENSIO.
Tis well; and I have met a gentleman
Hath promis’d me to help me to another
A fine musician to instruct our mistress
So shall I no whit be behind in duty
To fair Bianca, so belov’d of me.
GREMIO.
Belov’d of me, and that my deeds shall prove.
GRUMIO.
Aside.] And that his bags shall prove.
HORTENSIO.
Gremio, ’tis now no time to vent our love
Listen to me, and if you speak me fair
I’ll tell you news indifferent good for either.
Here is a gentleman whom by chance I met
Upon agreement from us to his liking
Will undertake to woo curst Katherine
Yea, and to marry her, if her dowry please.
GREMIO.
So said, so done, is well.
Hortensio, have you told him all her faults
PETRUCHIO.
I know she is an irksome brawling scold
If that be all, masters, I hear no harm.
GREMIO.
No, say’st me so, friend? What countryman
PETRUCHIO.
Born in Verona, old Antonio’s son.
My father dead, my fortune lives for me
And I do hope good days and long to see.
GREMIO.
O sir, such a life, with such a wife, were strange
But if you have a stomach, to’t a God’s name
You shall have me assisting you in all.
But will you woo this wild-cat
PETRUCHIO.
Will I live
GRUMIO.
Will he woo her? Ay, or I’ll hang her.
PETRUCHIO.
Why came I hither but to that intent
Think you a little din can daunt mine ears
Have I not in my time heard lions roar
Have I not heard the sea, puff’d up with winds
Rage like an angry boar chafed with sweat
Have I not heard great ordnance in the field
And heaven’s artillery thunder in the skies
Have I not in a pitched battle heard
Loud ’larums, neighing steeds, and trumpets’ clang
And do you tell me of a woman’s tongue
That gives not half so great a blow to hear
As will a chestnut in a farmer’s fire
Tush, tush! fear boys with bugs.
GRUMIO.
Aside] For he fears none.
GREMIO.
Hortensio, hark
This gentleman is happily arriv’d
My mind presumes, for his own good and yours.
HORTENSIO.
I promis’d we would be contributors
And bear his charge of wooing, whatsoe’er.
GREMIO.
And so we will, provided that he win her.
GRUMIO.
I would I were as sure of a good dinner.
Enter Tranio brave, and Biondello.
TRANIO.
Gentlemen, God save you! If I may be bold
Tell me, I beseech you, which is the readiest way
To the house of Signior Baptista Minola
BIONDELLO.
He that has the two fair daughters; is’t he you mean
TRANIO.
Even he, Biondello
GREMIO.
Hark you, sir, you mean not her to
TRANIO.
Perhaps him and her, sir; what have you to do
PETRUCHIO.
Not her that chides, sir, at any hand, I pray.
TRANIO.
I love no chiders, sir. Biondello, let’s away.
LUCENTIO.
Aside] Well begun, Tranio.
HORTENSIO.
Sir, a word ere you go.
Are you a suitor to the maid you talk of, yea or no
TRANIO.
And if I be, sir, is it any offence
GREMIO.
No; if without more words you will get you hence.
TRANIO.
Why, sir, I pray, are not the streets as free
For me as for you
GREMIO.
But so is not she.
TRANIO.
For what reason, I beseech you
GREMIO.
For this reason, if you’ll know
That she’s the choice love of Signior Gremio.
HORTENSIO.
That she’s the chosen of Signior Hortensio.
TRANIO.
Softly, my masters! If you be gentlemen
Do me this right; hear me with patience.
Baptista is a noble gentleman
To whom my father is not all unknown
And were his daughter fairer than she is
She may more suitors have, and me for one.
Fair Leda’s daughter had a thousand wooers
Then well one more may fair Bianca have
And so she shall: Lucentio shall make one
Though Paris came in hope to speed alone.
GREMIO.
What, this gentleman will out-talk us all.
LUCENTIO.
Sir, give him head; I know he’ll prove a jade.
PETRUCHIO.
Hortensio, to what end are all these words
HORTENSIO.
Sir, let me be so bold as ask you
Did you yet ever see Baptista’s daughter
TRANIO.
No, sir, but hear I do that he hath two
The one as famous for a scolding tongue
As is the other for beauteous modesty.
PETRUCHIO.
Sir, sir, the first’s for me; let her go by.
GREMIO.
Yea, leave that labour to great Hercules
And let it be more than Alcides’ twelve.
PETRUCHIO.
Sir, understand you this of me, in sooth
The youngest daughter, whom you hearken for
Her father keeps from all access of suitors
And will not promise her to any man
Until the elder sister first be wed
The younger then is free, and not before.
TRANIO.
If it be so, sir, that you are the man
Must stead us all, and me amongst the rest
And if you break the ice, and do this feat
Achieve the elder, set the younger free
For our access, whose hap shall be to have her
Will not so graceless be to be ingrate.
HORTENSIO.
Sir, you say well, and well you do conceive
And since you do profess to be a suitor
You must, as we do, gratify this gentleman
To whom we all rest generally beholding.
TRANIO.
Sir, I shall not be slack; in sign whereof
Please ye we may contrive this afternoon
And quaff carouses to our mistress’ health
And do as adversaries do in law
Strive mightily, but eat and drink as friends.
GRUMIO, BIONDELLO.
O excellent motion! Fellows, let’s be gone.
HORTENSIO.
The motion’s good indeed, and be it so
Petruchio, I shall be your ben venuto.
Exeunt.
