Quick.
What, John Rugby! I pray thee, go to the casement, and see if you can
see my master, Master Doctor Caius, coming. If he do, i’ faith, and find
any body in the house, here will be an old abusing of God’s
5
patience and the king’s English.
Rug.
I’ll go watch.
Quick.
Go; and we’ll have a posset for’t soon at night, in faith, at the latter
end of a sea-coal fire. [Exit Rugby.] An honest, willing, kind
fellow, as ever servant shall come
10
in house withal; and, I warrant you, no tell-tale nor no breed-bate: his
worst fault is, that he is given to prayer; he is something peevish that
way: but nobody but has his fault; but let that pass. Peter Simple, you
say your name is?
Sim.
Ay, for fault of a better.
15
Quick.
And Master Slender’s your master?
Sim.
Ay, forsooth.
Quick.
Does he not wear a great round beard, like a glover’s paring-knife?
Sim.
No, forsooth: he hath but a little wee face, with
20
a little yellow beard,—a Cain-coloured beard.
Quick.
A softly-sprighted man, is he not?
Sim.
Ay, forsooth: but he is as tall a man of his hands as any is between
this and his head; he hath fought with a warrener.
I. 4.
25 Quick. How say you?—O, I should remember him: does he not hold up his head, as it were, and strut in his gait?
25 Quick. How say you?—O, I should remember him: does he not hold up his head, as it were, and strut in his gait?
Sim.
Yes, indeed, does he.
Quick.
Well, heaven send Anne Page no worse fortune! Tell Master Parson Evans I
will do what I can
30
for your master: Anne is a good girl, and I wish—
Rug.
Out, alas! here comes my master.
Quick.
We shall all be shent. Run in here, good young man; go into this closet:
he will not stay long. [Shuts Simple in the closet.] What, John Rugby!
John!
35
what, John, I say! Go, John, go inquire for my master; I doubt he be not
well, that he comes not home.
[Singing] And down, down, adown-a, &c.
Caius.
Vat is you sing? I do not like des toys. Pray
you, go and vetch me in my closet un boitier vert,—a box,
40
a green-a box: do intend vat I speak? a green-a box.
Quick.
Ay, forsooth; I’ll fetch it you. [Aside] I am glad he went
not in himself: if he had found the young man, he would have been
horn-mad.
Caius. Fe, fe, fe, fe! ma foi, il fait fort
chaud. Je
45
m’en vais à la cour,—la grande affaire.
Quick.
Is it this, sir?
Caius.
Oui; mette le au mon pocket: dépêche, quickly. Vere is dat knave Rugby?
Quick.
What, John Rugby! John!
I. 4.
50 Rug. Here, sir!
50 Rug. Here, sir!
Caius.
You are John Rugby, and you are Jack Rugby. Come, take-a your rapier, and come after
my heel to the court.
Rug.
’Tis ready, sir, here in the porch.
55
Caius.
By my trot, I tarry too long. —Od’s me! Qu’ai-j’oublié! dere is
some simples in my closet, dat I vill not for the varld I shall
leave behind.
Quick.
Ay me, he’ll find the young man there, and be mad!
60
Caius.
O diable, diable! vat is in my closet? Villain! larron! [Pulling Simple out.] Rugby, my rapier!
Quick.
Good master, be content.
Caius.
Wherefore shall I be content-a?
Quick.
The young man is an honest man.
65
Caius.
What shall de honest man do in my closet? dere is no honest man dat
shall come in my closet.
Quick.
I beseech you, be not so phlegmatic. Hear the truth of it: he came of an
errand to me from Parson Hugh.
Caius.
Vell.
70
Sim.
Ay, forsooth; to desire her to—
Quick.
Peace, I pray you.
Caius.
Peace-a your tongue. Speak-a your tale.
Sim.
To desire this honest gentlewoman, your maid, to speak a good word to
Mistress Anne Page for my
I. 4.
75 master in the way of marriage.
75 master in the way of marriage.
Quick.
This is all, indeed, la! but I’ll ne’er put my finger in the fire, and
need not.
Caius.
Sir Hugh send-a you? Rugby, baille me some paper. Tarry you a little-a
while.
Writes.
80
Quick. [Aside to Simple] I am glad he is so quiet: if he
had been throughly moved, you should have heard him so loud and so
melancholy. But notwithstanding, man, I’ll do you your master what good I can:
and the very yea and the no is, the French doctor, my master,—I
85
may call him my master, look you, for I keep his house; and I wash,
wring,
brew, bake, scour, dress meat and drink, make the beds, and do all
myself,—
Sim.
[Aside to Quickly] ’Tis a great charge to come under one body’s
hand.
90
Quick.
[Aside to Simple] Are you avised o’ that? you shall find it a
great charge: and to be up early and down late;—but
notwithstanding,—to tell you in your ear; I would have no
words of it,—my master himself is in love with Mistress Anne Page:
but notwithstanding that, I know
95
Anne’s mind,—that’s neither here nor there.
Caius.
You jack’nape, give-a this letter to Sir Hugh; by gar, it is a
shallenge: I will cut his troat in de park; and I will teach a
scurvy jack-a-nape priest to meddle or make. You may be gone; it is not
good you tarry here. —By
I. 4.
100 gar, I will cut all his two stones; by gar, he shall not have a stone to throw at his dog.
100 gar, I will cut all his two stones; by gar, he shall not have a stone to throw at his dog.
Exit Simple.
Quick.
Alas, he speaks but for his friend.
Caius.
It is no matter-a ver dat:—do not you tell-a me dat I shall have
Anne Page for myself?—By gar, I vill
105
kill de Jack priest; and I have appointed mine host of de Jarteer to
measure our weapon:—By gar, I will myself have Anne Page.
Quick.
Sir, the maid loves you, and all shall be well. We must give folks leave
to prate: what, the good-jer!
110
Caius.
Rugby, come to the court with me. By gar, if I have not Anne Page,
I shall turn your head out of my door. Follow my heels, Rugby.
Exeunt Caius and Rugby.
Quick.
You shall have An fool’s-head of your own. No, I know Anne’s mind
for that: never a woman in
115
Windsor knows more of Anne’s mind than I do; nor can do more than I do
with her, I thank heaven.
Fent.
[Within] Who’s within there? ho!
Quick.
Who’s there, I trow? Come near the house, I pray you.
120
Fent.
How now, good woman! how dost thou?
Quick.
The better that it pleases your good worship to ask.
Fen.
What news? how does pretty Mistress Anne?
Quick.
In truth, sir, and she is pretty, and honest, and
I. 4.
125 gentle; and one that is your friend, I can tell you that by the way; I praise heaven for it.
125 gentle; and one that is your friend, I can tell you that by the way; I praise heaven for it.
Fent.
Shall I do any good, thinkest thou? shall I not lose my suit?
Quick.
Troth, sir, all is in his hands above: but notwithstanding,
130
Master Fenton, I’ll be sworn on a book, she loves you. Have not your
worship a wart above your eye?
Fent.
Yes, marry, have I; what of that?
Quick.
Well, thereby hangs a tale:—good faith, it is such another Nan;
but, I detest, an honest maid as ever
135
broke bread:—we had an hour’s talk of that wart. —I shall
never laugh but in that maid’s company!—But, indeed, she is given
too much to allicholy and musing: but for you—well, go to.
Fent.
Well, I shall see her to-day. Hold, there’s
140
money for thee; let me have thy voice in my behalf: if thou seest her
before me, commend me.
Quick.
Will I? i’ faith, that we will; and I will tell your worship more of the wart
the next time we have confidence; and of other wooers.
145
Fent.
Well, farewell; I am in great haste now.
Quick.
Farewell to your worship. [Exit Fenton.] Truly, an honest
gentleman: but Anne loves him not; for I know Anne’s mind as well as
another does. —Out upon’t! what have I forgot?
Exit.
